Author: Giridhari Das

Want to live a dream life? What will that take? Amazingly, we seldom stop to think about it and end up chasing the wrong dreams.

The first thing that comes to mind for most of us when we think of a dream life is fast cars, beautiful beaches, wealth, a big house and so on. It’s been hammered into our heads, over and over again, how success in life is measured by wealth, beauty and power. And yet, we’re never surprised to see how those who have such things aren’t actually happy! The illusion is so strong, that we think, “yeah, they’re not happy, but I would be!”

There are scientific studies showing that after a certain level (about middle-class income), having more money does not translate to more happiness. In other words, once you’ve achieved decent creature comforts and are no longer actually lacking anything you need, the rest is superfluous. Bill Gates is ten million times richer than most of us, but he’s not ten million times happier, is he?

This Business Insider article quotes rich people on how being rich didn’t make them happier. But we know this already. Disney cartoons have been teaching us this since we were kids. And yet, the crazy pursuit for wealth persists. And with it the notion that this will make us happy. The result? Most people are miserable, anxious and frustrated.

What the yoga tradition and scientific studies show, however, is that happiness is derived from intrinsic, not extrinsic, achievements. Joy comes from how you experience life, not what life you’re experiencing. This is the central message of the 3T Path I teach: it’s all about the mind.

The real dream life is to connect with others, live your true nature, and experience inner peace. Better yet, on top of this, to experience self-realization and bhakti, devotion to God. The beauty of this is that these beautiful intrinsic goals depend on nobody and nothing else, except you. You no longer need to feel like a victim of circumstances. You no longer need to feel jealous, unlucky or frustrated. It’s all up to you. The power is in your hands.

In my soon to be published book, The 3T Path, I teach time-tested and scientifically proven techniques to help you achieve this, to live the real dream life.

Check out my video on the topic of the real dream life here.

Bigotry is one of humanity’s greatest evils, and sadly it’s alive and well. Bigotry is the idiotic concept that an entire class of people can be judged without any consideration of the individuals who consist it. Logically, this can only lead to injustice. But what is the core sentiment that fuels the hatred for bigotry? The answer is victimhood.

In 2016 decent people all over the world were shocked to see a spike in bigotry, center stage in the politics of first the UK, then the US.

In the UK the theme was the Brexit Referendum, which was reduced and ultimately defined by the notion that the influx of foreigners was the cause of the economic woes of the native population, despite no empirical evidence to support the notion that foreigners were either displacing jobs or lowering the wages of UK natives.

And, even more impactful, was the election of Donald Trump as US President, openly fueled by a veritable buffet of bigotry: hatred from Mexicans, Muslims, Jews, blacks and women.

The facts showing the rise of bigotry in the US and UK are alarming:

• 888 hate groups are currently operating in the United States, an increase of 48% since 2000. Among them: 20 Ku Klux Klan chapters in Texas, 9 black separatist organisations in Georgia, 10 neo-Nazi groups in New Jersey, and 21 skinhead groups in California. Source: Southern Poverty Law Center
• 41% of Hispanics say that they, a family member, or a close friend has experienced discrimination within the past five years. In 2002, just 31% said the same thing. Source: Pew Hispanic Center
• Reported hate crime rose by 57% in the UK in the four days after the [Brexit] referendum, [UK] police say.
• “The [New York] police department revealed today that the city has witnessed a 115 percent increase in bias crimes since President-elect Donald Trump triumphed over Hillary Clinton last month.” – http://observer.com/2016/12/nypd-reports-huge-spike-in-hate-crimes-since-donald-trumps-election/.

Behind this rise in bigotry is victimhood. In both cases cited above, the increase in bigotry was caused by fueling the sentiment of victimhood. Native UK residents were falsely led to believe they were victims of European immigration and economics and US whites were encouraged to blame their woes on everyone who wasn’t a white American. Of course, Hitler famously did the exact same thing, paving his way to power by equally untrue claim that the Jews were to blame for the economic hardships of the Germans.

This is one of the reasons why going beyond victimhood (see here my post and video on it) is one of the key concepts in the 3T Path. Victimhood leaves us unempowered, cultivating the illusion we are not responsible for our lives and thus incapable of fixing it. This illusion leads to other darker forms of illusion, such as laziness, envy, bigotry and hatred.

What to speak of going beyond victimhood, in the Bhagavad-gita Krishna explains that yoga cultivates the very opposite of bigotry, be emphasising the importance of equality, of seeing everyone equally. My spiritual master, H.D. Goswami (www.hdgoswami.com) points to three verses in the Gita on this topic:

In Chapter 2, verse 47, Krishna defines yoga as equality. In other words, there is no yoga and one cannot be a yogi with the vision of universal equality. Krishna comes back to this in Chapter 5, verse 18, where we find the relatively famous line “panditah sama-darsinah”, which means “the wise see everyone equally”. And lastly, in the conclusion of the Gita, Chapter 18, verse 54, Krishna emphasises that bhakti (devotion – the perfection of spiritual life) can only be achieved by “being equal to all.”

Let’s hope this vision of equality will one day conquer bigotry. Until then, let’s at least make sure we practice it in our own lives.

Check out my video on bigotry here.

Understand that you’re in control and that feeling like a victim will disempower you. Your entire well-being rests exclusively on you. It’s all in your hands. We have to go beyond victimhood and take control of our life situation to achieve well-being. Going beyond victimhood is one of the key concepts of the 3T Path.

You have the power to be happy or to be miserable. You depend on no one else and nothing else. When you become more advanced, you will appreciate how God is always helping you and that everything and everyone ultimately depends on Him. But aside from this mystical and sweet fact of life, it’s crucial to understand and to live by the concept that you’re in power.

On a practical level, sure, use the word victim. If somebody mugs you and you go to the police, they will identify you as the victim of the crime. If a hurricane destroys your house, you call your insurance company and identify yourself as a victim of a natural disaster. We have to take practical measures. That’s part of our dharma.

But that’s as far as it goes. You have to go beyond victimhood. A victim is powerless. The term victimhood is used to describe a person who absorbs this feeling of being a victim, and thus declares themself powerless and helpless. Victims feel depressed and sad. Some take the feeling so deeply that they lose the will to live. Feeling like a victim will never help you. It’s just a path to inaction and unhappiness. As Krishna says in the Bhagavad-gita, “A yogi never laments.”

Instead, you should understand that whatever has happened to you is life. It’s reality calling. Just deal with it as the new flux life is bringing you. See it all as part of your experience in growth and strength. Perhaps it brings a new set of challenges, new shifts in your dharma. But the focus is exactly the same: you being here and now, focused on your dharma, recognizing your emotions and letting them go. No matter what has happened to you, the joys of life are still all around you. Life is still a miracle, and your experience of it can still be divine.

Focus on what you’re doing. That’s what you have control over. It’s what is really important, what will determine if you’re happy or not. It’s never about what happens to you; it’s about how you respond to it, how you deal with it. Bring the attention to yourself, for it is only yourself that you have power to control, only yourself that you have to improve.

If you accept that everything that happens to you is 100 percent your responsibility, then you have 100 percent power to change how it affects you. And the inverse is also true. If you feel you have no responsibility, then you have no power. Be a yogi or be a victim – that’s your choice.

Of course, we should feel sympathy – or even better, empathy – with those who suffer tragedy. Feel their pain and see how you can help. That’s part of the universal dharma. But for yourself, you must not lament. You should give time for your wounds to heal, recognize whatever loss you experienced, respect that . . . and then let it go and move on.

If you feel your mind dragging you toward the past in lamentation, feeling sorry for yourself for something that’s happened, stop and bring it back to the here and now. Breathe deep, focus your mind on a sensation you’re experiencing now or on doing your dharma. Absorb yourself again in life, in reality, in what is happening right now, and experience the joy and divine beauty of it.

Check out my video on this important topic here.

Don’t let people or things disturb you. Some people go through their whole lives without being aware that we have the power to regulate whether other people will disturb them or not. Incredible as it may seem, you have the power to decide whether someone or something will steal your peace of mind.

It’s all about your focus. If you’re focused on external things, such as making money and what others think about you, then, naturally, you’ll be totally swayed by things and people. You’ll feel every up and down and you’ll be in a constant state of anxiousness about what’s going to happen next. Foolishly, this is how I went about my life for a long time. I know from my own experience that this is no way to live.

The alternative is to gradually shift your focus to your performance, in other words, your actions and your state of consciousness. This shift is at the heart of the 3T Path, the path of self-improvement and self-realization in yoga. It’s deceptively simple.

Notice the big difference between the two. You have, basically, zero control over external things and the actions of other people. How can you be happy when your happiness depends on things you have zero control over? It’s not going to work. That’s why most people go through life miserable, anxious and frustrated. But you can develop total control over your actions and your state of consciousness. You can take full satisfaction in doing your best and experience the bliss of inner peace and bhakti.

Check out my video on this here.

The shift beyond samsara requires you to understand the different levels of reality you can access: dreams, the material world, and the transcendental realm.

The material world is what you’re experiencing now in the form of your regular day-to-day experience as a soul in a material body. In this reality you experience personhood. You’re an individual person with desires and emotions. You make choices and you reason. You experience having a body. You experience a world with an endless variety of forms and colors. You experience contact with other persons and things, which result in different sensations.

Then practically every night you enter another level of reality – a dream world. That world is not made of the same stuff as the material world. The water in your dream is not H₂O. It’s made of something else. Your body in the dream doesn’t have any actual cells. And yet you still experience individual personhood, a variety of forms and colors, interactions with other people and things, and different sensations. And while you’re dreaming, you believe in it; that is your reality, life as you know it, as long as the dream lasts. Then you wake up. As you awaken, you may notice two things: 1) you become aware that you were having a dream, and 2) everything seems to be more real. Experiencing a higher level of reality, the waking state, you can understand that you were experiencing a less real, more confused, less luminous reality.

We usually consider only these two levels of reality. But since time immemorial, spiritualists have presented another: the transcendental realm. In some traditions this is called the Kingdom of God. In the yoga tradition it is called Vaikuntha, which literally means “a place without anxiety.” This is the final level of reality, reality with a capital R, the real reality. In this reality too you’ll experience individual personhood, a variety of forms and colors, interaction with other people and things, and different sensations. The transcendental realm is made of neither the stuff of the material world nor the stuff of dreams. It’s made of something else: pure transcendental energy, the same stuff that composes the soul and God.

There are strong parallels between discovering and accessing this reality and waking up from a dream, and many cultures say that to become self-realized is to “awaken.” Once you experience transcendence, even a glimpse of it, you understand that you were previously experiencing a lesser form of reality and that you were having a more confusing and less real experience of life.

The yoga tradition offers the means for shifting your existence from the material world to the transcendental realm. Since you are a soul made of transcendental energy, that’s where you belong. That’s where you can experience life to its fullest and most blissful extent.

Check out my video on this theme here.

Because we’re so mistakenly interested in money, fame and status, people all over the world are working too much. Work is great, and certainly deserves the lion share of your time, but overworking will lead to dissatisfaction and frustration.

You only have so much time and energy. When you put too much attention on any one thing, something else will suffer. Sadly, the first important part of your life to suffer is that of your personal relationships. Very likely, those who are overworking also sacrifice other key areas that guarantee a better life, such as getting good sleep, taking care of your body and developing your spirituality.

Even the concept that devoting more time to work will make you more money is questionable, because research shows that long office hours translates to high inefficiency. Check out this great article in The Atlantic about it. And if you’re running your own business, then it’s very likely you can work less by assigning more responsibility to employees and third-party services. Google “Tim Feriss 4-Hour Workweek” for more ideas on this.

It doesn’t take a genius or a wise sage to know that your life is much more than work. You’re a real person with family and friends (or you should have), with a mind, with a complex machine of a human body and, though you may not yet know this well, with a deep spiritual side. All these need your attention or, more precisely, your time. And if you spend 16 hours at work, that’s just not going to happen. You’re going to lose out big time. The years will flash by, and all you’ll have to show for it are divorces, estranged children and a ruined body. The money in the bank, cars, and other toys will mean nothing. Whatever status you think you achieved will dissolve to nothing when you retire or die. You will have sacrificed the real things that bring you fulfillment and joy (connection with loved ones and spiritual growth) for things that give your life no meaning (money and status).

We need a cultural revolution to get over this overworking norm and instead value more our general wellbeing and a  balanced life.

Check out my video on the topic here.

Anger is a terribly destructive mindset. When we’re angry, we literally lose our intelligence and thus, naturally, what ensues is stupidity. The good news is that both the reason why we lose our intelligence and how we can avoid anger have been recently revealed by neuroscience. This information is very powerful, easily applicable and will be a great asset in fighting your anger.

First, let’s put aside moronic notions that anger has a positive side to it. People equate anger with energy and the power to change and fight. This is nonsense. Professional soldiers and martial artists are very aware that anger is a dangerous trap, guaranteed to make them operate with far less efficiency. So, even if you’re in the business of killing or defeating people in combat, anger is to be carefully avoided. What to speak then, for the rest of us. If you’re not happy with your government, fighting for rights, hoping for more opportunity, etc. the feeling you want to have is not anger. It’s indignation, determination and courage.  Marthin Luther King wasn’t angry, neither was Gandhi, yet they brought about huge change.

Neuroscience has identified which part of your brain does what, and knowing this can help you deal with your negative emotions. There’s a part of your brain called the cortex. It’s that big folded-over gray part on top. Your conscious thinking and planning takes place there. When you reason, you use that part of the brain.

Your brain also has two small almond-shaped parts called the amygdala, your “animal brain.” It can help to see it like that: your rational human brain and your non-rational animal brain. Many animals, including fish, have amygdalas.

Your animal brain helps you survive; it’s your “fight or flight” response. When you are in danger, your amygdala triggers this response, readying you to either fight off danger or run away from it. Actually, there is also a third automatic response: to freeze. Think of a deer facing headlights. So technically, you have a “fight, flight, or freeze” response. In terms of crude wiring, we have our amygdala to thank for fear. In some bizarre cases of damage to the amygdala, a person can become totally (and impractically) fearless.

When you feel your heart rate speed up, blood pressure rise, and adrenaline being released, that’s your amygdala in action, the animal part of your brain getting ready for combat or quick escape. It’s sensing serious danger. That’s great when there is actually serious danger, say a snake, a car rushing towards you, a vicious dog unleashed or a mugger coming towards you from a dark alley. The problem is that the amygdala fires in all-too-common situations such as a presentation to clients, a meeting with your boss, or a talk with your angry teenage daughter. You don’t need an accelerated heart rate, more adrenaline, and more blood pressure for these situations. There is no need for fighting, fleeing, or freezing. So your amygdala is often firing away at the wrong times, for the wrong reasons.

And it gets worse. Your amygdala has the power to override your cortex. You may have experienced this—responded to a threat before you even had the chance to think about it. Again, this is great when there is a life-threatening event and a split-second reaction time can be the difference between life and death. But it’s terrible when what’s triggering your amygdala are run-of-the-mill events in your workplace or home.

Anxiety and anger can get out of control. When you become irrational due to anxiety and anger, it’s your amygdala firing away and overriding your cortex. That’s why it’s useless for someone to try to reason with you when you’re under the influence of strong anger, fear, or anxiety. Your cortex has basically shut off, so they have no one to reason with. In those situations you can’t even reason with yourself. You’ve lost your inteligence.

How do you calm down an amygdala in full swing? Neuroscience shows that two things are especially effective: slow, regular breathing, and relaxing muscles.

You can and should be in full control of your faculties, with balanced heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure at all times outside of the rare event of real physical danger. Breathe and relax your muscles to consciously power down your animal brain. This is the key to overcoming many instances of anger, fear, worry, and anxiety.

Check out my video on this topic for more information.

Feeling a sense of control over your life is one our fundamental necessities. To the degree we feel we no longer have control, we give up. If there’s an area in your life where you feel things are just sliding away, getting worse or just hopeless, then you can revert that situation with the technique known as the Zorro Circle.

When we don’t feel we’re in control, we find no means to motivate ourselves, because, consciously or unconsciously we think, “what’s the point?” So, the trick is to get that feeling of control again.

This can be applied to the simplest things, such as keeping your house, room or office tidy to your effectiveness and output at work. This technique is time-tested and scientifically proven to work.

Check out my video to learn about this technique and to see why it’s called the Zorro Circle.

We often think reality just is exactly like we think it is. But it’s not. In fact, at any given time, you’re just operating on an interpretation of reality – that construction is called our mental map.

Sure, we can agree on the basics, the external observable stuff around us. But those things to matter to us so much. The deeper interpretation of what’s going on, the sensation, the mood, what’s going on in a general sense in life – in those things, our views can vary dramatically. Not only the views from one person to another, but even our own views, from one moment to another. The way we situate ourselves, the way we perceive ourselves in life, in the sense of where we stand, what we’re feeling, what the possible ways forward are – this is called our mental map.

And since this mental map is created by us, we have the power to adjust it. Our mental map can make us horribly sad and hopeless, or it can fill us with joy and enthusiasm – without any change to the physical observable facts in our life.

This is one of the key points in the 3T Path – it’s all about the mind (see my video here about this). You have more power than you can probably imagine to adjust your life experience, by adjusting your mind, your mental map of where you stand in life, and how you interpret the events in your life.

The first step is to become aware of this reality, aware that you can change your outlook on life. The second step is to see what there is of good in life by actively seeking out the positive. Our brains often get trained to see only the negative, so we should make a special effort to see the positive. It’s there, you just have to look for it. One way to do this is to cultivate gratitude (see here a great trick for this). The other way is to seek out wisdom. See how other people have dealt with adversity and seen the good in life. Lastly, there is spirituality. Once you understand your spiritual dimension and the presence of God, your mental map will always have a bright path forward, no matter what you’re going through.

In this way, you can reinterpret life to increase your positivity and wellbeing by adjusting your mental map.

Check out my video on the subject here.

Perhaps one of the biggest barriers to self-improvement and self-realization is having the ability to implement change in our lives, or to create new habits. So, how can we implement new habits, implement change in our lives?

We tend to rely solely on our willpower, but that’s not always enough. Different people have different levels of willpower. Some have the power to command themselves, while others struggle with the smallest of requirements for change. Even worse, studies show that willpower is a very limited resource. If you use willpower for any one thing, you deplete it for anything else, no matter how different they may be. For example, if you had to use willpower to get yourself out of bed and go to the gym or meditate, then you’ll have less willpower later to push yourself, say, to choose a healthy lunch and skip the dessert.

The conclusion is that we should not depend on willpower because we just don’t have enough of it to guarantee success. Instead, we should depend on habit. Habit requires no willpower. That’s the danger and the beauty of it. It’s automatic. It’s business as usual and your energy flows into your habits just as easily as water flows down rivers.

In this video, I give two scientifically proven techniques for implementing change. The first is a technique to help convince yourself of the need for the change. The second is a practical life-hack for giving that change a chance to stick and become a habit. Try it and see!